Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Friends


I find myself sitting here at 1:00 a.m. in the morning. I can't sleep. I used to have several wonderful friends. These are friends that I knew I could count on for anything. But lately it seems as if they have vanished. I can count four friends that won't speak to me. I am at a loss for what I have done. If any of them would only tell me, so I can try and fix it. I find myself looking in the mirror, and analyzing myself. I replay conversations and situations in my head to see if I can tell where I have offended. It's nerve wracking to speculate on what just is wrong.

Is it me? Are they just busy with life? It's sad and heartbreaking for me. I don't make friends easily, and those I have, I normally keep for years. I'm tired of crying over them, but I can't seem to move on. Pathetic huh?

I have things to share, good news, bad news, and heartbreaks. I feel alone. Sometimes I think this is God trying to get me to depend on Him more, others and myself less, but surely even He is getting tired of me crying and begging for His intervention.

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