Queen's Edge Farm: Reflection on Friends

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Reflection on Friends

You know I have come to realize that I have put too much emphasis on having women friends. At first I sought out people who had the same interests as mine, you know, homeschooling, rural live, country living. I then noticed that many of these "friends" were not Christians, and it was really important to me to have Christian friends, true Christian friends. Ones that would be there for each other no matter what. I had/have three, then it went to two, and now it's approaching three again, though I am approaching this new friendship with caution, as I don't know if I could survive being hurt again. But I always think about the "one that got away". I don't know why, other than I can't pinpoint why we aren't friends anymore, and it hurts my heart to realize that I will never know.

My daughter mentioned to me the other day that we hadn't heard from this person in awhile, which started me to crying again. By nature I am normally not a crier, but lately all I do is cry over this person, which then places her on my mind, and I then pray for her. My daughter also mentioned that maybe this person only like to have friends for a short time, and only likes making new friends. This really opened my eyes, and I realized it could be a possibility. I'd like to think we were REALLY friends, but realized that while I was there for her during a difficult time, she is not here for me when I really need her. Before all this happened, I would have said she was my best friend. I think that is what hurts the most is that I haven't had many BEST friends. You know a friend who you can tell anything to her, and she will pray for you good or bad? One who won't judge you, one who would help no matter what.

In evaluating my friendships I realize that maybe I have been a better friend to them, then they have been to me. By nature I am a giver, and I can only assume this makes some uncomfortable. Oh, some have been happy to "use" me then go on their way, but I wouldn't classify this friend in that category.

I just sit here and speculate on what went wrong, and I just do not know.

After saying all this, I've come to the conclusion that while I will always love this person as a sister, she didn't feel the same about me, and that God perhaps caused this rupture in our relationship to have me lean more on him, then on another person with all the human failings. This realization offers some measure of comfort, but at times, like today, when I run across her name, I get sad all over again.

I find myself once again looking in the mirror, and reflecting on, what I did wrong? what could I have changed? And the sad thing is, there's probably nothing I can do. Another sad thing is that my kids ask about her ALL the time, and wonder about her kids too, who they had become really good friends with....

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Grandma's Yummy Cinnamon Rolls

2 pkgs active dry yeast or 5 tsps if using bulk yeast
1/2 cup warm water (not too hot)
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup shortening, butter, margarine
2 tsps salt
2 cups milk, scalded
1 1/2 cups cold water
10 to 12 cups flour (white or whole wheat)

Yield: 4 loaves

Soften yeast in warm water, springkle in a tsp of the sugar
In LARGE mixing bowl blend sugar, shortening, salt and milk until shortening is melted. Add cold water, cool to luke-warm. Stir in yeast. Gradually add flour to form a stiff dough. Knead on floured surface until smooth and satiny, 5 to 10 minutes. Place in greased bowl, turning dough to grease all sides. Cover with foil or damp towel. Let rise in warm place (85 to 90 deg) until light and doubled in volume about two hours. Punch dough down by plunging fist in center. Knead dough for about 5 minutes.

Roll out one fourth of dough to a 16 X 12 inch rectangle. Brush with 2 TBSP of melted butter. Combine 1/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar, 1/3 cup sugar and 1 1/2 tsp of cinnamon (or more to taste). Sprinkle mixture over dough. Starting with 16 inch side, roll jellyroll fashion. Either cut into 16 1 inch slices or leave as a whole loaf. Place on a greased pan, cover and let rise in warm place until light, about 30 to 45 minutes. Bake at 375 degrees about 25 to 30 minutes or until golden brown.

Mix one box 10X sugar with 2 tbsps water. If too stiff, add more water until icing consistency, add a drop of vanilla too. Spread on baked bread while bread is still warm.

2010 Homestead Stats

Laundry Soap

Homemade Laundry Soap:
1/3 bar Fels Naptha or other type of soap, as listed above
½ cup washing soda
½ cup borax powder
~You will also need a small washpan or bowl that holds about 2 gallons.

Grate the soap and put it in a sauce pan. Add 6 cups water and heat it until the soap melts. Add the washing soda and the borax and stir until it is dissolved. Remove from heat. Pour 4 cups hot water into the washpan. Now add your soap mixture and stir. Now add 1 gallon plus 6 cups of water and stir. Transfer soap (using a funnel if necessary) into empty plastic laundry holders, milk containers (I use my empty glass milk bottles and old Fab containers) Let the soap sit for about 24 hours and it will gel. You use ½ cup per load.

Wild Mustang Grape Jelly

Wild Mustang Grape Jelly

5 cups grape juice (about 3 1/2 pounds of ripe grapes)1 (1 3/4 ounce) box of sure-jel pectin7 cups sugarBefore getting started it is best to clean the entire kitchen, making sure the sink is empty. Bleach the sink and all utensils used in making jelly (I do this as I sell my grape jelly as part of my homesteading business.)

Wash the canning jars in warm soapy water, and rinse well. Set off to side.

Place a large pan of water on the stove to heat. Once it starts steaming, place lids and rings in the bottom, and 2-3 jars (depending on if you use actual jelly jars or pints) to sterilize.

Next make the grape juice using clean washed grapes (make sure you use rubber gloves when picking or washing wild grapes)To 3 1/2 pounds of clean grapes (6 cups of grapes) add 1 1/2 cups water.Bring to a boil and simmer covered for 10 minutes.Strain and squeeze out all of the juice with cheese cloth (see paragraph below)
I didn't have cheese cloth, so I poured the grape mixture into a large spaghetti strainer with a large pan underneath. I had to stir it around some as the skins and seeds would sink to the bottom, and clog the colander up. Stirring allowed the liquid to drain out. I then used a large metal spoon and squished it some to get more of the juice out.

In a very big pan, put 5 cups of the juice (it’s okay to add no more than ½ cup water to even out amount)Add the fruit pectin to the juice.Mix well.On high heat, bring to a full rolling boil, and boil hard for 1 minute, stirring constantly.Stir in sugar all at once, and bring back to a full rolling boil, again boil hard for 1 minute stirring constantly.
Remove jelly from heat, skim off foam
Use a large spoon inserted inside the jar to lift CAREFULLY out of the water. DO NOT TOUCH THE INSIDE OF THE JAR OR THE RIM WITH YOUR HANDS.
Ladle jelly into hot jars, place a lid and ring onto jar (do not tighten yet).
Set jars to the side. After a while you should start hearing “pings” as the jar seals.
When jars are completely cool, tighten rings and store on pantry shelf.**SIDE NOTE: Wild Mustang Grapes are normally ready the end of June, so be prepared. Keep an eye open for vines on the side of the road, or any that friends and family may have growing in their yard. Many people just let them grow and don’t do anything with them, so it shouldn’t be hard to find a good supply. Also, the more you pick off the vine, the more the vine produces new grapes, so you probably won’t EVER run out of grapes to use until the vine dies or you get sick of making jelly. Good luck and feel free to contact me at queensedgefarm@yahoo.com for questions.