Awake in the Wee Hours.....

Dear God, It's true...I may be the only "Bible" someone ever reads. Please help me be a living testament that is worth reading. Please work through me and help me be a light and a shelter for my non-believing friends, neighbors, coworkers. I am sitting here today, yielded to your will, and asking you to use me open the eyes of someone who has been blind his or her whole life. What an incredible blessing it would be to know I am the instrument you used to bring a person into the Kingdom of God. Lord I want to hide your Word in my heart so that the Holy Spirit can bring it to remembrance at all the right times, that the words that come forth from my mouth would honor you and point other people to you. May you be lifted high and exalted, praised, and worshipped above all. In Jesus' name. Amen. Then the eyes of those who see will no longer be closed, and the ears of those who hear will listen (Isaiah 32:3).
People who really know me are aware that I have been struggling with my marriage for some time now. Recently, I was asked if I didn't believe that God could work a miracle in my marriage, since I profess my faith in him. I answered poorly, and have been thinking about it ever since. The conclusion I have come to is this: Yes, I believe that God can work miracles, and could even do so in my marriage. The question comes into play with "will he work a miracle?". Here is where I have my doubts. Because God has given us free will, and I am not the only participant in this relationship, I seriously doubt He will intervene to save the marriage. Oh, he could, but I don't know that he will. I pray constantly that God will show me his will for my marriage and what I should do, I am waiting (not patiently I might add) for him to reveal himself to me. It's an hourly struggle, and I take each moment as it comes, focus on raising my children and caring for my home. I am not the Holy Spirit and cannot convict my husband to change his ways or mindset. Only God can do this, and again I am waiting.
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It is almost 4:30 a.m. here, I cannot sleep. Woke up at 3:30 a.m. and am wide awake. This is not unusual as I have had insomnia for years. I am stressing over an email I received from my college advisor, and am unsure how to answer her, so please pray for me.
We are getting ready to have a yard sale here in a couple of weeks, the guys cleaned out the garage yesterday, filling up the truck with trash, and setting aside a couple of items to sell.
I sorted through my clothes and the girls and ended up with a quite a stack of clothing (again!). Where does it all come from? I think it must be breeding in their drawers. Went through a couple of kitchen cabinets and placed things in a box. Going with the three piles method of Sell, Save, Trash. The pantry and play room closet is next.
Lauren picked a pan full of green beans last night. I will get them ready for the freezer today, as we can't eat that many before they go bad. It's plain crazy! I pick all the beans off one day, and the next day POW! there are more than before. How did I miss them?
Also picked off a couple of tomatoes to place in the windows, they are large enough but not turning red yet, and wanted to keep the tomato plants producing. Some of the plants had 3 tomatoes growing in one spot, and I figured that might be too much of a drain for the plant. My squash, watermelon, and assorted other melons are putting off huge growth. I assume it is the rain we have had lately. The leaves are huge, flowers too, and the vines are starting to reach out and move down the rows. Still unsure of what a couple of the vines are, as the chickens displaced the seeds. Could be a combination, we'll see when the final product shows up.
Taylor went on his Senior Trip this past weekend. It was held at Landa Park and the Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels. He said he had a good time, but primarily hung out with the teachers and not the other kids. Kind of strange, but a good way to stay out of trouble, which he was stressing over. Apparently, the sponsors had emphasized that no parents would be called if anything happened, that they would let the police handle it. Now, understand Taylor isn't perfect and gets into his share of trouble, but it isn't usually legal in nature, only disobedience, low grades, that kind of stuff, but it was all he could talk about the week before the trip. While there, he was busy checking out a bus load of girls unloading from a tour bus, tripped and fell flat on his face in front of them. He skinned up his right, inner arm, but was mostly embarassed by falling in front of the girls. Apparently, they didn't just laugh at him and step over his prostrated form, but actually showed concern, a good sign I think. Especially, in today's world. It kind of shocks me how mean some people can actually be. Oh, I don't mean the evil thoughts we all think about people, but actually expressing what we think....yikes! So, again, a postive sign, that these girls weren't too badly corrupted.
My mother and Randy will arrive in a couple of weeks for Taylor's high school graduation. It will be on May 25th. We will have a small graduation party at one of the local lakes, using the condo where my mom and Randy will be staying. After that we leave for Disney World. This is present for Taylor's graduation. I am looking forward to it, and then again I am not...just the thought of lines and all that walking around fills me with dread. Getting the kids clothes in order, bought a new larger suitcase and several sundresses for the girls (1.99 each) and very cute, along with new swimsuits and sandals. They are done. I also bought me a sundress, a new RED swimsuit (of which I will only wear the top in public, shorts will be worn on the bottom half, it's not a pretty sight ). Still working on losing weight, so do not feel comfortable wearing swimsuit bottoms in public. I digress...I also got a pair ofblack shorts and a red tank top. Along with my jeans and shirts, that's all I am getting. Taylor picked out a new swimsuit and claims he is okay with his current shorts and shirts. Thanks goodness! running out of money, and need to save it for getting to Florida.
Will be working on getting Taylor's graduation announcement out in the mail and invitations to his party too.
My to do list for today looks like this:
Pay daycare bill
Finish up Music homework
Finish up Marketing homework
Wash dishes
Put dinner in crockpot
Work in garden (if it is not raining again)
Continue sorting and purging closests for yard sale
Oh, and here is a new set of house rules I am hoping to post on the wall, they are copied from the Duggar Family in Arkansas. They have 16 children. Way to go!
Posted in the dining area:
Always use soft words, even when you don't feel well.
Always display kind actions, even if you have been mistreated.
Show joyful attitudes even when no one else is looking.
Have sincere motives with no thought of self-gain.
Think pure thoughts.
Always give a good report of others. Never tattle unless physical harm will come to someone. Use Matthew 18.
Never raise a hand to hit.
Never raise a foot to kick.
Never raise an object to throw.
Never raise a voice to yell.
Never raise an eye to scowl.
Use one toy/activity at a time.
Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don't go to bed angry or guilty.)
Amendment J.O.Y. – make serving your family a priority – put Jesus first, others second, yourself last.