I came across the website www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com on the Large Family Logistics website. There is a lot of good practical advice on how to discipline, which is what I have been looking for.....I am going to try and implement her suggestions.
I have also been receiving some criticism over keeping my youngest home from preschool. This person make a rude comment to my youngest, when she said she didn't go to school anymore that I was homeschooling her now. The comment went right over her head, but irritated me. I didn't appreciate their saying "oh so I guess you play all day instead of learning anything?" I had to comment that no we did school work in the morning that includes writing, phonics, computer and math. And yes, my little one talks about her "friends" every day, which hurts my heart a little, but I know this is best for her.
On the site Raising Godly Tomatoes I read the following article, and wanted to share it. This is what I have been trying to tell people for years, but they just don't "get it".
What About Socialization?
We are told that our children will not be properly socialized if they don't spend a lot of time playing with other children. Is this really true? Do our little children really learn to get along with other children (and later with adults) simply by being with other children? Do they learn, from other children, how to share and take turns? Do they learn how to be kind to one another? Do they learn to be loyal, and not to gossip, and to forgive, and to turn the other cheek, and to go the extra mile? I don't think so. Not from contact with other children all by itself. Especially not from unsupervised or poorly supervised contact. No, I believe that children learn good social skills (and good character) from the consistent teaching and discipline (and example) of the mature adults they are around most frequently. If a parent is not there with their child, teaching and supervising, their child will be learning from whoever is there. If their child is mostly with other children, then he will usually not be learning good skills. More often he will be learning poor social skills. After all, he will then be learning from other children who are, at best, still learning themselves.
And what about our Bible? What does it have to say about this issue of socialization? I often think about King Jehoash. Jehoash was kept hidden in the temple and raised virtually alone by one godly priest. He was surely not allowed to attended group classes or even to play with friends. He would have been discovered and his life would have been over. Until he was seven years old he was kept totally away from other children. What was the result? Jehoash, as least for many years until the death of the high priest who raised him, remained one of the godliest kings of Judah. He certainly was not a social misfit damaged beyond repair by lack of contact with other children. You can raise a socially well-adjusted child without an abundance of contact with other children. In fact, you can raise an exemplary child this way.
"And Jehoash did right in the sight of the LORD all his days in which Jehoiada the priest instructed him." - Excerpt taken from the Raising Godly Tomatoes website
I have also been receiving some criticism over keeping my youngest home from preschool. This person make a rude comment to my youngest, when she said she didn't go to school anymore that I was homeschooling her now. The comment went right over her head, but irritated me. I didn't appreciate their saying "oh so I guess you play all day instead of learning anything?" I had to comment that no we did school work in the morning that includes writing, phonics, computer and math. And yes, my little one talks about her "friends" every day, which hurts my heart a little, but I know this is best for her.
On the site Raising Godly Tomatoes I read the following article, and wanted to share it. This is what I have been trying to tell people for years, but they just don't "get it".
What About Socialization?
We are told that our children will not be properly socialized if they don't spend a lot of time playing with other children. Is this really true? Do our little children really learn to get along with other children (and later with adults) simply by being with other children? Do they learn, from other children, how to share and take turns? Do they learn how to be kind to one another? Do they learn to be loyal, and not to gossip, and to forgive, and to turn the other cheek, and to go the extra mile? I don't think so. Not from contact with other children all by itself. Especially not from unsupervised or poorly supervised contact. No, I believe that children learn good social skills (and good character) from the consistent teaching and discipline (and example) of the mature adults they are around most frequently. If a parent is not there with their child, teaching and supervising, their child will be learning from whoever is there. If their child is mostly with other children, then he will usually not be learning good skills. More often he will be learning poor social skills. After all, he will then be learning from other children who are, at best, still learning themselves.
And what about our Bible? What does it have to say about this issue of socialization? I often think about King Jehoash. Jehoash was kept hidden in the temple and raised virtually alone by one godly priest. He was surely not allowed to attended group classes or even to play with friends. He would have been discovered and his life would have been over. Until he was seven years old he was kept totally away from other children. What was the result? Jehoash, as least for many years until the death of the high priest who raised him, remained one of the godliest kings of Judah. He certainly was not a social misfit damaged beyond repair by lack of contact with other children. You can raise a socially well-adjusted child without an abundance of contact with other children. In fact, you can raise an exemplary child this way.
"And Jehoash did right in the sight of the LORD all his days in which Jehoiada the priest instructed him." - Excerpt taken from the Raising Godly Tomatoes website
In my own words.......
Education can be a good thing, as long as, the eduation you receive does not replace Godly values. The more I think about it, the more I believe that my family is too educated. They have allowed the secular education degrees they have received to replace or supercede the word of God in their lives. Oh, if you told them this they would hotly disagree, but the proof is evident in their lives. Focus on "getting ahead", living in the "right" neighborhood, sending their kids to that just so perfect "private" or public school, and allowing outside entertainments to prevent them from doing the things of God. I am guilty of this myself at times, but acknowledge that it is wrong, and am working on it, the thing is that I am then criticized for doing so.
Too many Christians are getting caught up in their "rights", this is legalism. Even the congregation I am a part of likes to take the "easy" road. I point all this out because of the difficult time family and friends give me for homeschooling. I don't feel I should have to defend myself anymore. Maybe they need to defend their right to public school. I would dearly love for someone to be honest and say "I am lazy, and it's easier that is why I send my kids to public school." I am sure someone reading this will get offended that I attacked their "position" on public school. I won't apologize. I firmly believe that homeschooling is the best education for ALL and that everyone could do it if they only took the time to do so. I used to work full time and homeschool. My son stayed with his grandmother all day, and I homeschooled 2 hours each night. She did work on his reading and spelling with him, as that is what she thought she was capable of doing. I am grateful to her for doing this for him. Sure it make take some creative solutions or scheduling of work, but it CAN be done.
Education can be a good thing, as long as, the eduation you receive does not replace Godly values. The more I think about it, the more I believe that my family is too educated. They have allowed the secular education degrees they have received to replace or supercede the word of God in their lives. Oh, if you told them this they would hotly disagree, but the proof is evident in their lives. Focus on "getting ahead", living in the "right" neighborhood, sending their kids to that just so perfect "private" or public school, and allowing outside entertainments to prevent them from doing the things of God. I am guilty of this myself at times, but acknowledge that it is wrong, and am working on it, the thing is that I am then criticized for doing so.
Too many Christians are getting caught up in their "rights", this is legalism. Even the congregation I am a part of likes to take the "easy" road. I point all this out because of the difficult time family and friends give me for homeschooling. I don't feel I should have to defend myself anymore. Maybe they need to defend their right to public school. I would dearly love for someone to be honest and say "I am lazy, and it's easier that is why I send my kids to public school." I am sure someone reading this will get offended that I attacked their "position" on public school. I won't apologize. I firmly believe that homeschooling is the best education for ALL and that everyone could do it if they only took the time to do so. I used to work full time and homeschool. My son stayed with his grandmother all day, and I homeschooled 2 hours each night. She did work on his reading and spelling with him, as that is what she thought she was capable of doing. I am grateful to her for doing this for him. Sure it make take some creative solutions or scheduling of work, but it CAN be done.
*****************************************************************
"Homeschooling
One of the greatest blessing of my life was the discovery of homeschooling. Traditional school, even Christian school, is the by far, the chief culprit when it comes to your children being exposed to wrong influences. If you are not now homeschooling your children, please consider it seriously. Think of it as six more hours a day that you will be removing them from the negative influences of the world and will have to opportunity to influence them toward godliness yourself. Of all the good things we have learned and applied to our parenting, homeschooling one of the things that helped us the very most, in producing godly children.
When you eliminate traditional school, you eliminate ungodly teachers, peer pressure to do wrong, friends with low moral standards, books that teach wrong values, and far more. Your child is always learning something. You can't stop him from learning and you shouldn't want to, but you should want him to be learning good and profitable things, not immoral and ungodly things. You should want him to learn godly values, standards and beliefs, not those of the secular world. You are his parent, and it is your job to teach him these things. How can you do this when he is not with you? If you aren't teaching him, then someone else will be teaching him. If you are not influencing him, then others will be. "Let them (your children) be yours alone, and not strangers with you." - Proverbs 5:17 (NAS). God gave your children to you, not to others to raise, train, and teach. He does not ask you to do more than you are able to do, so know that you are equipped to handle this task. Keep your beloved children with you. Do not turn them over to the influence of others for the majority of their waking hours every day. Nurture them, train them, and educate them "as unto the Lord", not according to the ways of the world.
"And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, and able also to admonish one another."
- Romans 15:14 (NAS)" - Excerpt taken from the Raising Godly Tomatoes website.
"Homeschooling
One of the greatest blessing of my life was the discovery of homeschooling. Traditional school, even Christian school, is the by far, the chief culprit when it comes to your children being exposed to wrong influences. If you are not now homeschooling your children, please consider it seriously. Think of it as six more hours a day that you will be removing them from the negative influences of the world and will have to opportunity to influence them toward godliness yourself. Of all the good things we have learned and applied to our parenting, homeschooling one of the things that helped us the very most, in producing godly children.
When you eliminate traditional school, you eliminate ungodly teachers, peer pressure to do wrong, friends with low moral standards, books that teach wrong values, and far more. Your child is always learning something. You can't stop him from learning and you shouldn't want to, but you should want him to be learning good and profitable things, not immoral and ungodly things. You should want him to learn godly values, standards and beliefs, not those of the secular world. You are his parent, and it is your job to teach him these things. How can you do this when he is not with you? If you aren't teaching him, then someone else will be teaching him. If you are not influencing him, then others will be. "Let them (your children) be yours alone, and not strangers with you." - Proverbs 5:17 (NAS). God gave your children to you, not to others to raise, train, and teach. He does not ask you to do more than you are able to do, so know that you are equipped to handle this task. Keep your beloved children with you. Do not turn them over to the influence of others for the majority of their waking hours every day. Nurture them, train them, and educate them "as unto the Lord", not according to the ways of the world.
"And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, and able also to admonish one another."
- Romans 15:14 (NAS)" - Excerpt taken from the Raising Godly Tomatoes website.
UPDATE:
Earlier I mentioned how I was going to implement a new discipline structure today. The morning started off rough with Hannah, had to work with her and repeat my instructions at least 20 times (no exaggeration) before she complied. Only had to do this with two instances and she was very obedient the rest of the day.
Also, I had clued Lauren in on my plans this morning and needless to say she wasn't thrilled. When she came in this afternoon, I had a list of three chores for her to complete. 1) clean her room, 2) clean out the trash in my room between the footboard and the trunk and 3) clean out from under the sofa cushions and vacuum them. She balked right off the bat, it took about 1o times to get the message across to her. She was crying and complained to her dad, which then necessitated an explanation as to what was going on. The final two chores she did without complaint. (Just noticed she didn't finish her last chore. I was wrong, had a quick talk with her and had to deal with her disobedience in addition to a poor attitude. It's going to take longer with her I think as she is almost 10.
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