Bed times

I've been having an ongoing discussion with a few people regarding bed times for kids.

You see my kids don't have an actual bed time. Even when I was working, I was not hard and fast with a bed time for Taylor and Lauren. Taylor has always went to bed pretty early, all on his own. Lauren stayed up and still stays up with me. I asked Rodney yesterday if it bothered him or what he thought about it. He said he never thought about it, that it wasn't important to him, he was only concerned about his bed time (which is mostly 9 p.m. on the dot).

Well, I've been given flack by several people that the kids NEED to be in bed by a certain time in order to develop "proper" sleep behavior. What the heck? What kind of nonsense is this? Proper sleep behavior, give me a break. I think a lot of these "new fangled" parenting techniques (like sleep training ??? why does a kid have to be "trained" to sleep, their body tells them when they are sleepy) have come about because many parents have a two income household, and are looking for way to make their kids more convenient and fit into their busy lifestyle.

I think it's nonsense to shuttle your kids off at the crack of dawn in the freezing cold to school, for them only to not get home until almost dark, and then send them to bed early. Arriving home so late, leaving only enough time for dinner, and homework. Where is the down time? Where is the family time? If you arrive home from work and daycare around 6 p.m., and send the kids to bed at 7:30 pm, so you and your spouse can have "alone" time it is selfish. If you don't want to deal with your kids, don't have them.

I was told I was "too" relaxed. Okay, you guys that know me, I'll give you a few seconds to wipe the coffee off the monitor. I'm sure that one caused you to snort it out all over the place.....

I am far from relaxed. I am a very stressed and can be a stressful person. I am opinionated, bossy, nosy and far from relaxed. I am high energy and am always on the go, whether around the house, or out about town. I flit from one thing to the next.

I was then accused of not having routines. Oh, I have routines and schedules, and high expectations, but bed time is not one of them. I pick my battles, and to me if a kid can function on a small amount of sleep fine (that's the type of person I have always been), or if a kid needs more sleep fine. Go to bed. I don't make them go to bed (or make them stay up), their bodies tell them when it's time to sleep. Now, when I was working full time outside the home, I tried to make sure everyone headed towards bed, either to watch tv quietly, listen to music or read, by 10 p.m. But I am a night owl, and don't have to get up for work, so why is it a problem if the kids stay up with me?

Oh, and the even funnier accusation. I have poor control of my children. Now, that's laughable, as I realize I am a VERY controlling person. I run my house like a dictatorship, it's not a democracy here. I can be reasoned with, on occasion, but normally, it's my way or the highway. Ask my kids, they will tell you I am way too strict (in some areas), bossy, nosy, controlling and the list could go on.

Now, all this doesn't really bother me, I just find it funny that someone takes one small area of my life, like no bed times for my kids, and assumes I let my kids run over me. I receive compliments all the time on how well behaved my children are. Precocious yes, too smart for their ages, yes, but poor behavior. I can't even think of a time, I was told they REALLY misbehaved.

So, I'd love to hear from anyone about their bed time habits, and why they feel it is necessary or not necessary to have a strict bed time for their kids, especially if it's an early one. Do you put them to bed at sundown, because you need a break, or is it because you REALLY believe that particular child needs more sleep?