Parents Raising Children

I started a bible study today on line on Parenting. I know the end result that I want with my kids, but sometimes I am at a loss of how to accomplish these results.

My parents did a good job. Sure I got upset at them when I was younger, but I always knew the rules they set for me were for my own good. I rarely questioned the rules, but then I used to be a great rule follower.

Anyway, the bible study encourages parents to prevent their children from having friendships with children that have immoral, irreligious and just plain awful habits. I often feel bad for Lauren that she doesn't have any friends to play with on a regular basis. I tried to find Christian, homeschooled friends for her, but that didn't work out too well after a while. The friendship she had was primarily through my friendship with the mom, and when that fizzled, Lauren was hurt that she couldn't still play and talk with the little girl. I often receive flack from friends and family that don't homeschool about how much time Lauren spends without kids her own age. Frankly, I don't see this as a problem, though I realize that the majority have bought into society's lie of socialization and isolationism.

The one year that Lauren attended public school (not at my choosing) she made a really good friend. They were close, spent the night together, talked on the phone, and were inseperable at school. Well, over the course of a year, I noticed how Lauren's behavior just fell apart. The little girl didn't have the same home rules regarding respect and discipline, and was unknowingly encouraging Lauren to be disobedient. Thankfully, that relationship has also fizzled, and Lauren doesn't seem to care. Thank You God! I feel for the little girl and her situation (we did invite her to church all the time, and she went a couple of times), but having Lauren around her wasn't working. Now, don't get me wrong..Lauren is not perfect. She is smart, and very comfortable around adults, which can be off putting to other adults. They view her as rude and disrespectful. Yes, she is sometimes, but I also see where adults are rude and disrespectful FIRST to her, then are shocked that she responds in kind. I am not one of those moms that tell my kids to do what adults tell them to without thinking, even family members. You get what you give....I have told Lauren that if an adult (even in our family) asks her to do something that she doesn't think is right, that she needs to respectfully let them know she needs to clear it through me first. Or if they are being mean she needs to just walk away, she doesn't need to respond mean back.

I see where I make mistakes in parenting, but some things are important to me, while others are not. I am learning a lot so far with this study, thinking a lot on what God's word says, and trying to come up with some realistic goals for my children. So far I have:

1. accept Christ as their Savior
2. be self sufficient and self supporting
3. be close to family members

Now, to come up with a plan and discuss it with Rodney. I find many of our issues come in conflicting ideas of what is acceptable and what isn't. Areas I'd like to change are:

1. limiting TV
2. enforcing the "yes ma'am" "No ma'am" thing ( you know making them say it)
3. having each other find out what the other parent ordered so as to not cause conflict
4. broadening each child's responsibilities (i.e., chores)

Here's a quote from the study I am doing:

"Christians generally know we must not depart from God's pattern to follow human theories for worship, salvation, the church, etc. But raising children is a God-given command and obligation just as surely as are these other areas. When human ideas differ from God's word, we have no more right to follow them in raising children than in any of these other areas."

'Many sources profess to offer parents advice, and many parents accept this advice: psychologists, sociologists, government officials, social agencies, and other child-raising experts.

Other parents just raise their children the way their own parents raised them. This may be done knowingly, but often it is done without thinking. We just naturally treat our children according to what we are familiar with - we act the way we saw our parents act. This amounts to accepting their own parents as the best authority for how to raise children.

Notice that these are all human authorities. Humans are fallible and often make mistakes, so it is reasonable that many of their theories do not work. This is especially true if our goal is to raise godly children."

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It was so cute tonight...Rodney was screwing the wall together for the bathroom in the cabin, and James was sitting on my lap. I was seated on the closed toilet lid holding him. He was just staring at Rodney and watching his every move. Rodney would look up and smile at him, and talk to him while he was working. James wasn't scared at all of the drill sound. He slept through it for a while, then woke up to sit quietly and watch. Earlier he sat in his carseat in front of the window, watching the sunlight and he loved the fan blowing in his face. He would put his face up, close his eyes, lick at the wind, smile and make lots of vocal sounds. He was quiet for the longest period of time I have known him to be. A good half hour just sitting in front of the fan.