Red States vs. Blue States

This "letter" was posted on a forum I belong to, I thought it and the answer from the blue states hilarious......

Dear Red States...
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii , Oregon , Washington , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty.
You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft.
You get WorldCom. We get Harvard.
You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama . We get two- thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.
You get a bunch ofsingle moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro- choice and anti- war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90 % of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 % of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 % of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low- sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 % of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 % of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 % of the hurricanes, 99 % of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 % of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite , thank you. Additionally, 38 % of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 % believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 % say that evolution is only a theory, 53 % that Saddam was involved in 9/11,and 61 % of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties. By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico . Peace out, Blue States

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"Dear Blue States -

The "Red States" find your offer acceptable.

You get to keep 99% of the druggies, lunatics, queers, and politicians.

But you will have a hard time of it.

You get to pay DOUBLE for the fruits of our labors to make up for your plan to "make the red states pay their fair share".

You will be seeing an increase in paper products like TOILET PAPER, Florida produce, Texas produce and Beef, Southern Cotton, vegetables, grains, and most of the things you use to make life "nice".

No longer will our citizens drive the trucks from Arkansas to your part of the world to deliver goods, like Mary Kay.
Your people will have to come and fetch their goods.

We will also be charging you a premium on the use of our copyrighted and "red state originating" ideas.
Rock & roll, Country, Blues, R&B, Jazz, and Bluegrass will cost you a user fee to listen to.

We will also be limiting your access to the Grand Canyon, charging you for any pollutans to rivers like my beloved Mississippi, and shutting off the flow of water into Kalifornicate from Arizona.
Also the flow from Montana, Nevada, and Minnesota will be mostly diverted to our own uses.

ALL electric power generation will be either shut down or the price TRIPLED.
Since your power comes from "us" on the "grid", you will pay or it will get really really dark.

The pipelines which come from OUR refineries to your area will also be shut off.
Most Automotive plants like Nissan, Toyota, Mercedes, BMW, and others are in OUR territory, so you won't have the option of fuel efficient cars.
Enjoy the Detroit offerings.
Enjoy walking as well as shivvering in the winter.

Chemical plants will mostly be in our areas also.
So you won't even be able to purify your bilge you call water.

Which brings me to point out that we have ABUNDANT supplies of water from our own wells, aquifers, and artesian springs.
You can keep whatever you have now.

Using our own gold fields/mines, and silver mines, we will revert back to the gold standard and will only be accepting payment in these currencies.

BTW - Most of the "Reserves" like Fort Knox are in our "red states" so we will be seizing those assets as well.

I'm sure you will find something to sell to foreigners to get PM's since your areas have no mines or production to speak of.

Your Garbage will no longer be permitted to be trucked into our States to be dumped.
But you can burn it for heat I guess.

Same goes for your sewerage sludge.
That will stay with you also from now on.

Since we will have 99% of the armed forces and military bases, you won't have any recourse in this situation.
Especially when we will hold ALL of the nuclear missile silos.

You will pay, or you will suffer.

Oh, cordially yours. The Red States"

I don't condone this next reply from the proposed "Republic of Texas" who does not favor being a part of the new nation of blue states (LOL!)

"As a representative of the newly formed Republic of Texas (again) I'd like to issue my own letter to the blue states.

"F you".

That is all. "